this is a very long and annoying process. i dont want to go through it anymore. i hate wincing when i wake up. because this lump in my stomach is sometimes there and sometimes not. and i just keep praying that eventually it will go away forever. God- you're more than enough for me. i don't understand why this still hurts as much as it does. i want to shine and be joyful. because there are so many good things in my life. and i can bring good from this situation. i just wish it would stop being so painful. im angry that its painful for me and nothing to him. how easy he's acting like this is. i feel like garbage in his eyes. and i dont understand why i can't just not care. because i know what You see is all that matters. :-/ i'm a fool. but i'm still Yours...
"whatever you're doing inside of me- it feels like CHAOS. but somehow there's peace...."
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